“What would be left undone if I died today?”
“How can I live most fully in whatever time is left?”
~ both quotes from Ira Byock, M.D., Dying Well
Back when I was watching The Time Traveler’s Wife every day, people who knew that kept asking me why I liked it so much. My answer was that for me it brought up relevant questions. While I didn’t use the exact wording of the questions above, those were the relevant questions that were brought up for me. They are questions that I have spent (since I was about 18) and continue to spend a lot of time considering.
In my close relationships, at work, and generally in my life as full-grown woman intent on living well, I consider those questions. Sometimes there are clear answers and steps that I realize I want to take. Other times, the consideration just make a “crisis” a little less of a crisis, because I am reminded that I am still – even amidst my crisis – here for a finite amount of time. Thus, violence in any form (verbal, emotional, and of course, physical (although don’t interpret that to say I’m the hardest core pacifist)), toward anyone, including myself, is not worth it* and quite simply, stands in the way of that which I am most intent on… living and dying well, i.e., loving to the end.
*Better to use effective communication/assertiveness. No hate or vengeance, rather, open and respectful communication.