Jane McGonigal

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Anxieting

Obviously or not obviously, I have been anxieting lately.  I just made that into a verb, because I like to make feelings into verbs.

Anxieting:  when one’s thoughts and behaviors are motivated in large part by the feeling of anxiety.

For example:  When Eva is anxieting, she blogs more frequently.

Or:  Susie likes to manage her excessive anxieting by taking deep breaths.

Or:  The man’s anxieting began to occur after a traumatizing event.

Eva rests peacefully in the knowledge that her anxieting is temporary.  And all is – in fact – exactly right and well.

Hello, Nervous

Hello, Nervous, I’m NOT glad to have you back.

It’s just a little phone call to get “feedback.”

But I have been sitting her for fifteen minutes with my phone in hand, the number dialed, yet unable to hit

“Call.”

I tried deep breathing exercises.

I tried finding something to do that I would like even less, in hopes it would motivate me to “Call.”

I tried rehearsing what I need to say.

I wondered if maybe I could just e-mail the person instead.  (I can’t.  I already told the person I would “Call.”)

I even tried doing something else and surprising myself with hitting “Call.”  Like, doot-da-doot, I’m doing something else; then BAM!  ”Calling….”  (Didn’t work; I couldn’t do it.)

Apparently, I might just have to give it up until later.  If I called now, I’m certain my voice would shake and I would mess up my enunciation.

This Child

“… within the core of each of us is the child we once were.  This child constitutes the foundation of what we have become, who we are, and what we will be.”

~ Dr. R. Joseph, Neuroscientist

 

Got a Call From Nervous

I got a call from my friend Nervous today.  She said she was going to be visiting me until Monday, January 30th.

I told her that was perfectly fine, we could talk and get re-acquainted with one another for the limited time she would be with me.  While we were talking she also gave the heads up that my other friends Disappointed or Elated might come after she left, but she wasn’t sure which one it would be.  I told her that was okay, I would be prepared for either one.

In the meantime, I’ll have a nice time with Nervous.  We’re going to do something low-key tonight.  In fact, she may just come and hang out with me while I work at the office…

Musing on Mental Health

I was just thinking about mental health and how maybe it’s not that much about happiness or feeling good as much as something else.  Like really… if someone dies in midst of the searing nothingness of grief, did they really fail?  Were they even in poor mental health?  Is it poor mental health if it’s appropriate (like grief or appropriate anger?)?

Is it (mental health) about accepting what you feel?

I thought maybe it was about – at least in part – about how you treat yourself in your head.  Like in a similar way that a person who exercises and eats healthy is physically healthier than the person who doesn’t, couldn’t it be true that a person who is more gentle and assertive (or other things?) toward themselves with their thoughts would be mentally healthier?

It would make sense that mental health would be in the quality of your thoughts.  But I don’t mean that like Marcus Aurelius.  I think he was the one who said something like, “The happiness of your life is dependent on the quality of your thoughts.”

While that may be true, I’m certain now that I’ve thought it out more concretely; I don’t think mental health is measured by happiness.  Or even necessarily a sense of well-being…?  Can’t a grieving person, who accepts their (for example) grief, admits that they need help from those who love them, be mentally healthy, stable person?

It kind of makes sense that mental health would be related to the quality of your relationships, because of the same thing that Irvin Yalom, Ph.D said in The Gift of Therapy.  That was basically that people go to therapy/counseling due an inability to develop and sustain meaningful relationships with others.  Think about it… if you were able to treat yourself how you want to be treated in your own head where there is no one to hold you accountable except yourself, how much more would you be able to treat others that way, especially those most important to you?  Thence, how much better would your relationships be and in turn, how much more would you feel able to bend without breaking in the storm winds of life (sorry; that sounds sorta of cheesy, even to me) with all the support from your quality relationships?

I hope I put a lot of question marks in this post, because it is entirely about me asking myself questions, rather than coming up with any real, concrete answers… ?

Is Stress a Choice?

I’m listening to the audiobook from work by John Miller, The Question Behind the Question.  He just suggested that potentially, or at least in part, stress is a choice.  Part of that depends on – basically – on how you talk to yourself and others about your “situation,” i.e. do you talk like you are a victim?….

Why didn’t they give me more training on this?

Why is he/she such a jerk?

Why don’t they have better service here?

Or like this…

How can I adapt to my changing world?

I love that question.  I’ve already been thinking about it several times a day.  How can I adapt to my changing world?

That question helps me understand that I don’t have full control, but I do have SOME control.  I dont’ have control of other people, but I have control of ME.  I have control all situations, but I do have control over my RESPONSE to situations.

Anyway, I’m enjoying thinking hard on that question…

How can I adapt to my changing world?

Why I Hate PostSecret

I hate [most/a lot of] PostSecrets, because I – like the people who wrote them – used to believe my secret thoughts, just because they were in fact, my secrets thoughts.

Secret thoughts are believable at face value, because there is no one else in your head to CORRECT them. (This is why the world needs counselors!)

But chill out – not everything you tell yourself is TRUE…

(the PostSecret above irritates the begeezus out of me; where do I even begin to correct this girls’ cognitive distortions?  I’m overwhelmed and I bet she is too.)

Pain

 

Rest.