Things They Should Teach You In School (via Jaclyn Rae’s Blog)

How to love someone. How to tell someone they've hurt you. How to apologize without defending yourself. How to tell someone you don't love them anymore. How to resist impulse spending. How to be polite and assertive. How to ask for help. How to take responsibility for your own happiness. How to have empathy for others. How to surround yourself with people who add value to your life. How to live within a budget. How to have a good attitude. How to … Read More

via Jaclyn Rae's Blog

Reflecting Me

Often how we interpret other people’s behavior, particularly in relation to us, says more about who we are (and how we see ourselves) than it does about the other person.

~concept from David Schnarch’s Passionate Marriage

It Doesn’t Take Two

From David Schnarch’s Passionate Marriage…

She detested how she hid in fear of [her husband, John's] disapproval and vowed to do things differently…  she recognized that she’d never really feel “safe” if she couldn’t do it on her own.

Having made this momentous decision, Mary realized that she didn’t need “permission” to change herself or her marriage.  It doesn’t “take two,” as the old saying goes.   It takes two to keep your marriage the same; it only takes one to change it.  When you change, the relationship changes.

She wanted to become sufficiently solid in her sense of herself that she would stop living in fear of John’s response.

Hugging

Think about your hugging.

How do you hug?  Are you close or keep space between?

How relaxed are you when you hug?

How long do you hug?

How are these things different with different people you hug?

What do you think your hugging says about how you do the rest of life?

What do you think your hugging says about your relationship with the people you hug?

This concept of using hugging as a litmus test comes from David Schnarch’s Passionate Marriage. I want to add a quote about a concept he calls “hugging till relaxed.”

Start experimenting with hugging till relaxed in private, where you won’t be distracted.  But when you get good at it, do it in your living room and kitchen so your kids can see and feel it.  Modeling intimacy and interest in physical contact is only one benefit.  You can also change the atmosphere in your home.  Since families with young kids are an inherently undifferentiated emotional network, being near parents in a soothing, intimate interaction has the impact of calming children.

~David Schnarch, Ph.D

The Bucket

For awhile I pretended I didn’t have a bucket.

Then I thought God was going to fill my bucket.

Then I tried to fill my own bucket.

Then I thought boys could fill my bucket,

But the sand just went right through the bottom.

See, I need a little bit of lots of things to fill my bucket.

Especially the one treasure to fill the bottom,

So all the other sand won’t fall through.

And I have to take care to keep dirty sand out too.

So walk with me, Friend.

We can help fill each others bucket.

And see how lovely that the fuller the bucket…

The lighter it is to carry.

A First

My nephew schnuggled me today.

I Wish Everyone

…. got to have parents like mine.

So they always know they’re

loved.

The Reason

If you recall >> this post <<, I’m sure someone wondered why that day was so good.  And in case you haven’t picked up on it since then, I’ll tell ya the reason….

It has to do with a boy.

….

….

Guesses??

A boy that I *really* like.

I would go so far as to say I love him.

….

…

Hehe.

…

I’m going to be an AUNT!!!!

~~~~~

Enamored

I am completely enamored with a blue-eyed boy!!!

Hair:  Dark Blond

Weight:  15 lbs.

The Truth About Anger

So I saw another new client today.  A 13 year old girl.  I really like her.  There’s lots of anger.

Lots of anger is generally a cover for deeper hurt/s.