Shut Your Blogging Mouth

I feel like I should.  Really.  So much crap goes here.  But it’s so very therapeutic I don’t want to stop.  Around the New Year I read a bunch of people resolutions and there were a ton that said something like, “Blog more often.”  I found that so funny, because if I was a New Years Resolutions-type person mine would be, “Blog less.”  I think I will cut back a bit.  For now though, here it goes again… a “random thoughts” post where upon I sit my brain on the crapper (The Blog) and unleash “random poop” that I’ve been thinking about…

~  I drink a lot, a lot of tea.  That would probably be fine if I didn’t have to sweeten it with Splenda every time, which I hear kills brain cells.  Makes sense because of all the chemicals it has to go through to decalorify (made that word up) it.  Anyone know for sure how bad it is for you?

~  I no longer eat ice cream.  Gave it up cold turkey two or three days ago and haven’t looked back since.  I was intaking too much of THAT too.  I like it a little too well and I hate feeling controlled by innanimate things, so it’s outa here.  I wash my hands of it for an indefinite period of time.  Plus, my friend reminded me the other day that the less dessert-y things you eat the less you crave them.  That would be nice and healthy.  I would like it very much, which is another reason I’m squelching the addiction.

~  I also don’t eat/drink pop (idiot, it’s not “soda”), much meat, foods with trans fat, fried food, white bread and most pasta, and high-fat dairy products.  I eat a lot of veggies (mostly via vegetable soups in the winter), fruit, whole grains, low-fat dairy products, and water.   It’s a pretty healthy diet for the most part.  And even healthier now that I’ve excommunicated the ice cream.

~  Pickle Man is captivating. 

~  I have a lot of reading to do for my classes.  Like YEARS worth.  I don’t know how they expect you to do it all in ten weeks. 

~  I hate January and February in Ohio. 

~  My mother is now my boss.  Hooray!  She was recently announced as the new CEO of my organization.  This makes me very happy and very, very proud!

~  I am astounded that people who read this blog ever bother to come back.  It is very strange, I think. 

~  Get to see Awesome Cousin B again tomorrow if I make it to Columbus through all this snow (6-8 inches I’m hearing).  We’re going out for Chinese.  Again.  (Yea!)

~  Every second I stay on here, I get further behind on my reading.

~  There has been progress in a certain area of my life.  It’s really fun, but I can only tell Best Friend R, who was my inspiration for making the change.

~  I have another blog where I write when I’m feeling really “funky,” but there has not been a post there in about two months.  That is a good thing.

~  I have a special blessing for whoever invented Skype.

~  To pump is to flush!  haha, love you, Brother!  Your sister, her mind is a booey…

~  A few words on public restrooms.  First of all, I was in one yesterday that had the best (thick and soft) toilet paper I’ve ever used in a pubic bathroom.  Second of all, it’s kinda disconcerting, I think, to “go” with other people you don’t know standing around listening.  Sometimes I wait until someone flushes.  Thirdly, even more disconcerting are those huge cracks between the door and the wall of the stall.  I think there should be a whole social movement to rid our country of such things, because you know that when there’s a line (and in the women’s restroom there often is) the lady who’s next in line behind you stands right your line of sight.  Consequently, should she choose to look she could see everything and there would be nothing you could do about it.  Geez..  I always think to myself, “C’mon, Woman, is it really necessary for you to stand RIGHT THERE??  Please just move like three inches one way or the other!”

~  Okay… I think that’s it. 

[wiping my blogging butt]

[flush, i.e. "publish"]

[whew... turn on fan!, i.e. apologize to any reader who made it this far]

Auntie Anne

I am going to meet Auntie Anne tonight.

I played an $80,000 concert grand piano today.  It was in a piano store and I played many of the other beautiful ladies too.

I ate a piece of cheesecake today that needs a whole blog post just for itself.

Best of all…

The whole day was spent with my best friend R, who is self-proclaimed “fabulous.”

Mmm, Dessert

A couple days ago via e-mail I asked a friend this question…

“Say you suddenly find yourself in a plight and you have to choose which 3 desserts you’ll be restricted to for the next 15 years of your life. What do you do?”

The response was…

“Definitely anything chocolate, anything custard filled, and anything to do with apples. Or lemon. I can’t choose. Probably lemons, because they have Vitamin C, which prevents scurvy, the dread disease of sailors. How about you?”

My response was…

First of all, there would be a prolonged period weeping and gnashing of teeth.  That would be following by a period of morning, during which I would only wear black, keep my head continually bent in sorrow, and begin and end each day with…

Hail Mary, full of grace.

Our Lord is with thee.

Blessed are thou among women,

and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Blessed are scones,

thank God they’re a “breakfast” food.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,

pray for us sinners,

now and at the hour of our death.

 

Then I would reluctantly decide on these three things:

1) Birthday Cake Remix at Cold Stone Creamery

2) R’s cheesecake (the kind you let me eat for breakfast the last time I was there, R)

3)  Velvet Holiday Classics Peppermint Stick Ice Cream

 

And then I would bid a sad adieu to the other shining stars in the night sky of my life…

 

Amen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Now…

Say YOU suddenly find yourself in a plight and you have to choose which 3 desserts you’ll be restricted to for the next 15 years of your life…

 

What do YOU do?”

 

 

 

Watch Your Step

*Important message* (and a good look at my hometown)…

Part I

Part II

I Think My Butt Just Got Bigger

Oh. My. Gosh.  I feel like I just ate a cat.  A big, fat cat.  Ugh.  That was delicious (like a party in my mouth!) though, and the best company I have had in awhile.  My favorite (and only) brother is here with my favorite (and only) sister-in-law.  Thanksgiving dinner was masterfully crafted by my mother and her side-kick in the kitchen (my father). 

While we were eating my brother made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to puke.  We, my brother and I, were recreating a scene for the rest of the family, of when we were kids and he had been bugging me mercilessly.  I couldn’t get away from him and he was irritating the begeezus out of me, so I did what any smart ten year old would do… I locked myself in my room (a pattern of behavior that persists in my life).

This is not recommended unless you’ve done it before, and know with certainty that you will be able to open the door again.  As it happened, when I tried to get out I realized with horror that I was trapped.  Shiver me timbers! 

As I reluctantly bit into a piece of humble pie, I called out for my tormentor-turned-rescuer to come save me.  He did, of course, like any brother who’s pushed his little sister to the brick of insanity.  It was damage control (and his good heart)… He knew that he still had to spend the rest of the day with me and rescuing me would expunge his grievances.  (He’s still a smart man.)

That’s how it always was with us though.  We’d get into a fight, my mother would sit us down in a time-out, and before the time was over, we’d sneak off to go play again.  Ah, those were good days… fantastical helicopter rides, building forts, climbing trees… My brother was always “Bob” (<click) and I was “Sally.”  We saved the world on a regular basis.

Right now though, I need someone to save ME.  I feel like the cat (i.e. Thanksgiving dinner) just made my butt get bigger.  I don’t think I’m going to be able to get myself out of this chair and I may very well be stuck here forever.