Tag Archives: Love
I got hurt playing soccer last night — happily, only a sprained ankle, though I’m on crutches for the time being.
But getting crutches was not the big event of last night.
It was Such A One, who:
- literally, carried me to his truck from the soccer field
- took me to the hospital
- carried me into the ER
- sat with me in my hospital room
- held my hand
- took me home
- bought me pain-killers (cause I didn’t want to use the pain-killer prescribed by the Doc)
- got a cab to go back to the soccer field and drive my car home
- took out my trash and picked up my apartment for me, cause I had left it in a hurry and in disarray
- was just the best friend and help ever
“Expectation is the root of all heartache.” ~William Shakespeare
“I think you could [love] anyone if you saw the parts of them no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and saw them crying in their bed at night or singing in the shower or humming quietly to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street. And even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think, after seeing them at their most vulnerable, you wouldn’t be able to help [loving] them.”
~ from here
I’m not one of those people who’s optimistic all the time. I don’t smile when I feel like crying. I cry when I feel like crying. The truth is that life is difficult for all of us at times. If you live it right, you’ll face disappointment, fear, and pain. I’m okay with that. In fact, I expect it.
When something hurts or scares or intimidates me, I don’t ignore it or call it by another name. Instead, I invite it in to sit with me. I buy it a cup of coffee, stare it in the face, and get to know it the way I’d get to know an unpleasant colleague that I’m forced to work with. I put forth an effort to learn about it, even when I think we have nothing in common.
I ask it about its life, its passions, its reason for existence. I get to know it until I’m not afraid anymore. I investigate until I find traces of beauty. And yes, if I sit long enough and ask the right questions, I always find beauty.
When I get up to leave, I embrace it. I hug it and hold both of its hands in mine. I look it in the eyes and thank it for stopping by and for spending the day with me. Then I leave. I don’t ask to stay in touch or plan a follow-up meeting. If we’re meant to meet again, we will. If I need to learn this lesson again, I will.
So if there are moments when I don’t smile, please don’t worry. I’m not disintegrating, I’m just getting to know whatever is sitting with me. I promise you though… Even when the tears are falling, my heart is happy.
And, anyway, the only way you can ever really conquer something is to learn to love it.
(This post is from Jaclyn Rae’s Blog.)
“I guess, we’re all one phone call from our knees.” ~Mat Kearney
From David’s Schnarch’s book Passionate Marriage…
The biggest trust issue in marriage isn’t about trusting your partner. It’s about whether of not you can really trust yourself. The better your partner, the better your ability to soothe and console yourself needs to be. It’s not safe to love your partner more than you can self-soothe, especially if you always need him or her to “be there for you.” Your partner won’t be there to hold your hand and comfort you through his or her death. You’ll go through that alone. The increasing vulnerability that arises from your partner becoming more important to you makes a passionate marriage daunting. Many of us know we can’t trust ourselves with this enormous risk.
Love is not for the weak, nor for those who have to be carefully kept, nor for the faint of heart…
Who among us has the strength to love on life’s terms? How many of us can say to our partner, “You go first. I don’t want you to die, but you’re entitled to your own life and your own death. Go easily. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of myself somehow. Holding onto myself with you has made me strong enough to do that.”