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http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind/200903/compassion-the-child-within

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201003/the-expectations-trap

What’s Going On Here!?

I just re-took the Myers-Briggs!!  Now I’m an ISFJ!!!!  What the heck!!!  What’s going on here???  I AM SO CONFUSED.  LOL.  I mean, I didn’t even rig my answers to come out a certain personality type!

Here’s what *they* think I am though (I’m not convinced it’s “right”)………

~~~~~~~

Qualitative analysis of your type formula
You are:

• moderately expressed introvert
• slightly expressed sensing personality
• moderately expressed feeling personality
• moderately expressed judging personality

~~~~~~~~

Guardian:  Portrait of the Protector (ISFJ)

We are lucky that Protectors make up as much as ten percent the population, because their primary interest is in the safety and security of those they care about – their family, their circle of friends, their students, their patients, their boss, their fellow-workers, or their employees. Protectors have an extraordinary sense of loyalty and responsibility in their makeup, and seem fulfilled in the degree they can shield others from the dirt and dangers of the world. Speculating and experimenting do not intrigue Protectors, who prefer to make do with time-honored and time-tested products and procedures rather than change to new. At work Protectors are seldom happy in situations where the rules are constantly changing, or where long-established ways of doing things are not respected. For their part, Protectors value tradition, both in the culture and in their family. Protectors believe deeply in the stability of social ranking conferred by birth, titles, offices, and credentials. And they cherish family history and enjoy caring for family property, from houses to heirlooms.

–>Wanting to be of service to others, Protectors find great satisfaction in assisting the downtrodden, and can deal with disability and neediness in others better than any other type. They are not as outgoing and talkative as the Provider Guardians [ESFJs], and their shyness is often misjudged as stiffness, even coldness, when in truth Protectors are warm-hearted and sympathetic, giving happily of themselves to those in need.

Their reserve ought really to be seen as an expression of their sincerity and seriousness of purpose. The most diligent of all the types, Protectors are willing to work long, hard hours quietly doing all the thankless jobs that others manage to avoid. Protectors are quite happy working alone; in fact, in positions of authority they may try to do everything themselves rather than direct others to get the job done. Thoroughness and frugality are also virtues for them. When Protectors undertake a task, they will complete it if humanly possible. They also know better than any other type the value of a dollar, and they abhor the squandering or misuse of money. To save, to put something aside against an unpredictable future, to prepare for emergencies-these are actions near and dear to the Protector’s heart. For all these reasons, Protectors are frequently overworked, just as they are frequently misunderstood and undervalued. Their contributions, and also their economies, are often taken for granted, and they rarely get the gratitude they deserve.

Michael Scott’s Secret to Happiness

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/reel-therapy/200909/the-office-the-secret-michael-scott-s-happiness

A Talk with the Computer Guy

I just spent an hour talking to our computer guy.  Mostly not about computers either.  Everything from travel, to life decisions, to music, to money, to moving, to personalities, to psychology, to marriage, to pre-marital counseling.  And I feel so much better than before.  Right before hand I was having anxiety.  Well-founded anxiety, but I’m feeling therapized now, even though I didn’t explicitly mention my concerns.  Somehow though, we covered almost every topic that was weighing on  my mind… money, moving, life decisions, and marriage.

He said in regard to money that there have been so many things in life from which he’s been held back because of money.  And I thought, “I do not want to be like that.”  Not that I’m going to be spending extravegently, but I just think that worrying about money could stop me from living the life I want.  Gotta be careful about money and always work hard though.

In regard to marriage, he admitted that it’s hard!  REALLY hard.  Alleluia!  I get so frustrated with people always encouraging me in the direction of marriage, as if it makes everything in life somehow better.  Bologna!  

So, I have some “issues” here.  A fear, actually.  Suddenly when you’re married you can’t just keep all your crap to yourself.  Let me rephrase…  Suddenly when I’m marriaged I won’t be able to just keep all my crap to myself.  And suddenly my being unhappy negatively affects someone else.  Yikes!  It’s so much easier to keep to myself.  It’s how I abide to the “due no harm” rule of social work.  Even if I’m unhappy, at least I’m not making other people unhappy.   But then I won’t be able to.  Yikes!  (Did I already say that?)

Wait.

Now, I’m forgetting why I was feeling better.  Well, one thing is that he emphasized the importance of personalities in marriage and encouraged me to keep that in mind (like finding a good match).  Keep it in mind?  Does it ever LEAVE my mind?  haha.  Personalities are like an obsession of mine, my way of understanding people and interpreting/anticipating conflict.

I guess I was feeling better because he was saying that marriage takes continual hard work and you always have to be working on yourself.  Whew!  This I can handle.   In fact, that sounds far, far less scary than some other images that I’ve conjured up in my mind.  That’s actually relieving.   

He also said another thing that I really, really liked.  It was about premarital counseling.  He said that it should really happen BEFORE you get engaged, when you’re deciding if you want to get married in the first place.  Sure, somethings should wait until after engagement, but doesn’t it make sense to have someone help you “process” before making that decision?  I think it does.  That’s when I would need help.  Not after I jumped off the cliff.  Which hopefully doesn’t turn out to be as much of a cliff as I think it will.

I’d rather be pleasantly surprised with life after marriage than tragically disappointed, like I was with life after YWAM.   I thought everything would be perfect since I had found this deep, meaningful relationship with God.  (See where I have some connotations with marriage?)   But it did not make everything better.  It did not make ANYTHING better. 

Yup.  This girl’s scared.  I don’t want to go through anything remotely post-YWAM again.  Ever.

Time for some self-talk…

It’s okay.  You’re okay, honey.  It’ll all be okay.  You are a stronger, wiser, more loving person now than you were then.  You are more prepared if that did happen again.  And you would make it through.  Just like you did last time.  Not that it would be easy, but you could do it.  Just don’t hole up this time.  Ask for help.  Be vulnerable.  Accept help.  And you could make it through, becoming even stronger than before.  The more pain you go through, the more you can help other people with their pain.  This is a good thing.  And don’t forget… you are okay.  It’s all okay. 

One day at a time, missy.

I Love Personality Tests

… and I never miss an opportunity to take one.  I took “The Big Five Personality Test” the other day via Best Friend R’s blog.  Here are my results so I can find them easily next time I have an identity crisis.

Openness to Experience/Intellect

“[I am] relatively open to new experiences.”  76% of the people who took this test were less open than I.

Conscientiousness

“[I am] very well-organized, and can be relied upon.”  97% of the people who took the test were less conscientious than I.

Extraversion

“[I] probably enjoy spending quiet time alone.”  (HA!!!  That’s the understatement of the century.)  9% of the people who took the test were less extroverted than I.

Agreeableness

“[I am] good-natured, courteous, and supportive.”  97% of the people who took this test were less agreeable than I.

Neuroticism

“[I] probably remain calm, even in tense situations.”  1% of the people who took this test were less neurotic than I.

*I gathered from the site that not a very diverse selection of people have taken the test at this particular website.  And judging from my percentiles, I would guess not many have taken it either.