Disheartened

I’ve been assigned 175% of a full-time job for the last four to five months or so (especially that last 2.5 months).

Yesterday I had my annual performance appraisal.

 

Well, Frankly

Well, frankly, sometimes I just want it to be easier.

This summer I worked really hard and long hours, and things went really well.

Now, I’m working really hard, really long hours, and things are not going well.

And it doesn’t help at all that I am so tired.  I hate getting You-Forgot-Such-And-Such-emails.  I wish I could just respond, “No, I did not forget it. I just can’t do everything.”

Thank goodness for the 26 succulent, wonderful hours at home in Ohio with Such A One.  It was really, really great to be at home in the peaceful serenity of my childhood home with my parents and Such A One.  While we were there, I kept commenting to Such A One how quiet it was.

That’s the upside, so I’ll end on that.

Is Stress a Choice?

I’m listening to the audiobook from work by John Miller, The Question Behind the Question.  He just suggested that potentially, or at least in part, stress is a choice.  Part of that depends on – basically – on how you talk to yourself and others about your “situation,” i.e. do you talk like you are a victim?….

Why didn’t they give me more training on this?

Why is he/she such a jerk?

Why don’t they have better service here?

Or like this…

How can I adapt to my changing world?

I love that question.  I’ve already been thinking about it several times a day.  How can I adapt to my changing world?

That question helps me understand that I don’t have full control, but I do have SOME control.  I dont’ have control of other people, but I have control of ME.  I have control all situations, but I do have control over my RESPONSE to situations.

Anyway, I’m enjoying thinking hard on that question…

How can I adapt to my changing world?

Cursive

Random…

I often write in cursive for stress relief.

No

I want to work less, but not get behind.

I want to be able to focus on my paperwork.

I don’t want to work 11-13 hour days.

I don’t want to see clients six days a week.

I don’t want to do paperwork on my only “day off.”

I don’t want to feel guilty for not getting up at 4:30am.

I don’t want to spend 13ish hours a week in my car.

I don’t want to have to proof the one INCH thick stack of reports I have right now.

I don’t want to work 14 hours tomorrow, like I’m scheduled.

I want more to be getting done for all the time I’m putting in.

I want to be an Irish dairy maid and just milk cute cows all day and marry the sprightly, blonde stable boy, like I talked about here.

Actually, that’s not true.  I want to be doing what I’m doing, going (career-wise) where I’m going, but only at mach-40ish-hours-a-week.

Now ask me if I’m going to do/get that?  Highly unlikely, a.k.a. impossible, at this point.

Just wanted to whine.

Stress

So busy.

Acceptance

This is one of the handouts that are sitting out for clients at the counseling/mental health center where I intern…

ACCEPTANCE…

Is the answer to all my problems today.  When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place,  thing, or situation – some fact of my life unacceptable to me and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.  Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy.  I need to concentrate on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

The Burden of the Day

 

 

 

“No [one] ever sank under the burden of the day.  It is when tomorrow’s burden is added to the burden of today, that the weight is more than a [person] can bear.” 
~~ George MacDonald ~~

 

 

 

Bring It On

Today WILL be a good day…

I was certified in CPR by 7:45 am.

I saw two horses frolicking in a meadow at 8:15 am.

And now I going to take on my last paper of the quarter with a hurricane of concentration and drive. 

You won’t get me down today, Life!

I am a powerful woman.

Bring it on.

Survival

Ugh.  Surviving in another day.  I really wish I could cry.  That would make me feel better, I think.

Three good things from today:

1)  That little dog that slept all sidled up to me while his owner was being therapized by my supervisor.  Although he was on a stack of pillows and kept fidgeting around in my side, which tickled.

2)  That woman who gave me a big, bear hug.  She didn’t even know me.  But it helped.

3)  David Patterson on NPR.  Made me chuckle.