Rules in Relationships

This info is from my Marriage & Family Therapy class…

Two questions get answered in relationships in regard to rules:

1)  What are going to be the rules of the relationship?  Like, how much time will be spent together, what topics of coversation are cosher, how will conflict be resolved, etc.

2)  More importantly than the first – Who is going to set the rules?

In higher functioning relationships the rules will be set in a direct way – mutually, talking about it with mutual respect and compromise, without the need to save face or be “one-up” all the time – rather than leaving things unspoken, to develop unwritten rules.

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~ by Eva on April 8, 2009.

4 Responses to “Rules in Relationships”

  1. I just use chocolate as my bargaining chip. I married a chocoholic and if I want something done, I’ll just play the “I’ll make cookies” card. That’s pretty much the golden rule. Chocolate. No one gets angry with that.

  2. any relationship in which someone must always be one up is lop-sidded and un-healthy.i don’t mind being one down once in a while but i don’t like disrespect which often accompanies the one up mentality. mutually respectful is the best kind of relationship.

  3. Jessica – Nice job. Back rubs would solve any conflict in my household.

    tatheart2 – Amen.

  4. Understandings, rather than rules, is a more appropriate approach to a relationship. Rules create rigidity and can be perceived in various ways (interpretations) to suit ones need thereby creating adversity. We all learn as we go when it comes to relationships, and doing so through all levels of intimacy is the realistic way to learn about your mate,their idiosyncrasies and one anothers personal boundaries.

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