I Fail Sometimes
This is in regard to my “issue.” Some days I eat too much and then don’t run. Just a big, fat (no pun intended) fail. There just no two ways about it. And it’s ugly when I fail. Ugly, because there is no self-control involved (I think self-control is so fabulously cool, both on me and other people) and I’m just uncomfortable. In my own skin and in my own mind. I feel guilty and worthless.
It started with some Easter chocolate, which I ate right after BREAKFAST. Cause it’s a “special occasion”??? (That’s how I justified it at the moment.) Riiiight…. a special occasion to feel crappy. I have to remember this in the future on holidays… no matter how “special” the occasion, I do not like feeling crappy. (Sometimes it’s worth it, like at Christmas, but definitely not today.) And that’s how I feel when I eat more than I need. Immediately and straight away. It doesn’t have to “sink in” or anything… I eat more than I need and bam… crappy.
Then I’m stuck inside my head the rest of the day. Unless I go for a super long run, which I usually do, but today I’m not going to. Because in the last 11 days I ran 46 miles (not back to my pre-broken foot running yet) and played a bunch of soccer, twice on days when I also ran 5 miles. So today… I’m throwin’ in the towel. Today is going to be a fail.
Fail, fail, fail.
Oh, well. So what. Tomorrow I’ll get in my run, I’ll eat as much as I need, and I’ll be back on my normal track.
So… sometimes I fail. But that’s only sometimes. It’s not every day. It’s not most days. It’s not even usual.
But today I fail. I admit it. This is part of what makes me strong, what makes me persistent… that I fail and then I keep going, keep struggling, keep trying, even if I keep failing.
I fail sometimes. I failed today. It doesn’t have to have any bearing on what happens tomorrow. I’ll keep you (<that’s a universal-nobody-type “you”) posted.
(Did I mention I hate failing? I do. Ugh. Get me outa here.)