How We Met: Step I

November 23, 2008

Wow, I have been really lonely the past few days.  Fortunately, at this point in my life loneliness does not equal sadness.  Those are different, I think.  My life is good.  There is very, very little I would change about it if I could.  I have people who love me dearly, relative success in the academic segment of my life, enjoyment in the professional… yeah, it’s all pretty good.

I’m just feeling lonely.  A little separated from those who love me.  A little isolated from the world.  I’m finding myself blogging more than usual, just so I can feel connected to the poor souls who read it.  How sad is that?  Oh well, we are reduced to that level at which we can survive.

I even did something out-of-character for me.  I joined an private, Mennonite, online dating site.  Not to date though.  I was on the same site briefly a year ago, but left when I realized that I wasn’t really interested in dating anyone at that point in my life.  However, I had made some great friends, several of with whom I still keep in touch.  So I re-joined in hopes of making some more, because I need some people to keep me company in my head.  That’s the loneliest place in the world for me.  I live there alone.  My thoughts never rest in all my waking hours.  But no one can join me.  That’s why I get lonely every once in a blue moon.  I realize I’m actually all alone.  Usually my thoughts keep me entirely occupied and I don’t even realize when I’ve been alone too much, but every so often I look around my brain and think, “Whoa… I’m here all alone.” And then I join an online dating site.

Ah, the internet…  the poor [wo]man’s friend.

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~ by Eva on April 16, 2009.

6 Responses to “How We Met: Step I”

  1. Ohhhh, thank you! 🙂

  2. Oh Eva – you are so-o-o confusing-let me get this straight. you fell for pickle-man-you don’t know if you will ever see him again-you have the utmost,heartfelt feelings for him and there is no desire to be with anyone else- two days later you are on an on-line dating service trying to meet new people. Wu-u-u-t. 😉

  3. boy do i feel stupid- i just noticed the date- this is past not present-i’m such a dork

  4. Oh and just for the record, I was reading the discussions you started up on that site the last time I was there and I remember thinking, “GIRL, What the hell are you thinking starting that discussion here!” I feel like (and it has been my experience) far too often that site is really polarized in the forums and that any discussion thread ends in extremes as well as hardened hearts for many. I’d be interested to hear if that is what your experience is as well? (Obviously this isn’t to say that most people on there are like that…just that many of the forum “trollers” for a lack of a better word are.)

    • Um… honestly, I haven’t really kept up on any of the discussions on that site with the exception of my own. So, it’s hard to say. I think I’ve had a good mix of responses to my discussions, not too polarized. And hey, I’m glad I did something… how do you say… courageous/stupid (?)! We never get any where if we don’t push the envelope a little, right??? 🙂

      BTW… if the joy in being you is that you can be humored by simple things multiple times, then it’s also a joy of being your friend. That’s too funny. LOL. 🙂

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