Reflections on a Hard Week
This was, admittedly, a hard week for me. Yesterday I was looking back at some things I’d written down back in April and I wrote something about the possibility of Pickle Man coming for a couple months, but then being gone again for a long time. I wrote how I thought it was going to be so hard for me, after spending almost two months with him as my main companion, to be without him.
Even though I wrote that, I must have forgotten, because though I anticipated missing Pickle Man, I honestly did not realize how hard it was going to be. It was hard, hard, hard.
I may have mentioned here before that I don’t really cry – to the point that relatively recently, I went two years without crying at all.
I cried every day this week, starting when I took Pickle Man to the airport. Yesterday, Saturday, was the first day I didn’t cry and that was because I was with my best friend who helped me.
Now I’m safely at my brother and sister’s house. I have an interview for a job in their city tomorrow, which I’m not too hopeful about, but that’s okay.
I’m doing more walking, like I think I said I was hoping to do. Less running this week too, because crying has a way of wearing a person out, so I just haven’t had much energy.
I am feeling better now though after a fun weekend with my best friend and her husband.
I also still miss Pickle Man. Quite a lot. Still don’t know how our story with turn out, but that’s okay too. Good self-care, like spending time with one’s best friend, has a way of making things like that okay.
And I’m okay.
I also miss him. But oh, well. Can’t seem to help it.
*Maybe I’ll write another post about this sometime… In the last few years I’ve slowly thought more and more that Christianity is just “good psychology.” But Pickle Man says that, that’s true, because God meant it to be that way. This week I felt the need to believe Pickle Man and the thought of Jesus (whether a figment of my imagination or something else) comforting me, gave me at least one night of peaceful sleep.