False Immunity

There are some things in my life that I spent the entirety of my growing up years – all the way into adulthood – thinking I was immune to.  Like, the whole gaining weight thing, which I’ve mentioned here before.  I’ll briefly explain.

I played sports and ran year round until I graduated from high school.  At that point I decided (after much ado) to NOT go to college where I could have kept playing sports, but instead, take the year off from school and do international missions.   So I left.   And over the course of the next 6-8 months I gained weight.  Ugh.  It wasn’t that I ever stopped exercising, it just wasn’t apparently as much as I always had.  Plus, I’d never had to be careful about what I ate, so I just kept on like I had been.  The result was that I gained a lot of weight in a short period of time.

It wasn’t that I didn’t see it coming.  It’s not like I gained it all in one surprise day.  I felt it coming.   I worried about it.  I *tried* to stop it.  But I couldn’t.  And when it was all said and done… I hadn’t.

That was when I, feeling unbeautiful, sorrowfully realized that I was not immune to gaining weight.  And so began the tedious process of refining my lifestyle so that I could lose the weight I’d gained and then stay at a healthy weight.

I succeeded and in the process, I equipped myself for a lifetime.  Equipped myself with tools that will make the rest of my life healthier and happier.  Now I know the ins-and-outs of weight gain/loss for myself.  I know that I can lose weight.  I know how to keep myself healthy.  I know how to keep weight off.  I know how to not freak out about my weight.

I’m am so much better prepared (though it’s also a life-long process) to keep myself healthy for the rest of my life.

The whole process was/is something I definitely would have rather done without.  Gaining weight was the companion of feeling depressed for two-ish years, during a time when otherwise, things were seemingly going “well.”

I never want to repeat that time or a time similar to that for the rest of my life.  I never want to go through it again.

But at the same time… if I hadn’t gone through that then, I wouldn’t know what I know now.  So in a way, I gained something more valuable than what I lost.  Two depressed years, compared to a lifetime of health happiness.

Also, by going through what I went through then, I know what I’m avoiding by staying healthy.  I can be proactive to avoid a similar situation, and I can be grateful for that ability and the happiness that accompanies.

There are other things in life to which a person thinks they are immune, but once they learn (perhaps by surprise) that they are not in fact immune, they go through the process of equipping themselves for life to avoid that thing.  They learn not only how and why to avoid that thing, but they learn how to bolster and grow the good, healthy things in their life.

Anyway, all that to say, I’m imperfect… I’m learning… I’m growing… I’m more humble than the day I started, less inclined to think I’m immune to various mistakes/struggles in life…  And I don’t know what all that’s good for in the end (or along the way, for that matter).  But that’s all I got.


~ by Eva on July 22, 2010.

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