The Grass Can Be Green on Both Sides
I just read a blog post called “Marriage Myths Shattered.” You can find the post here.
The “Myths” she discussed were the following:
- I’ll be happy if I’m married because I won’t be alone anymore.
- I’ll feel complete if I’m married. I’ll have accomplished something with my life.
- It must be God’s will for me to get married because I want it so badly.
- If I never get married, it must be a punishment of some kind.
So, I decided to flip to the other side of the coin…
“Singleness Myths Shattered”:
1. I’d be happy if I was just single again because I wouldn’t have to deal with such a [insert unflattering word] person.
2. I’d feel complete if I could just be single again; I could accomplish something with my life.
3. It must be God’s will for me to be single because I’m so unhappy married.
4. Being married to [this person] must be some kind of punishment.
There are probably just as many people who are single and wish to be married, as people who are married and wish to be single. In the Singleness Vs. Marriage tug-o-war – as with everything – it just depends on how you habitually look at life. There are absolutely important, enjoyable things about being single AND about being married/committed. Neither side is definitely “greener” than the other.
Life – single or married – is partly what you make of it and partly the environment in which you’re trying to “make it.” If you marry someone who is immature/mean and unwilling to change, then singleness is probably gonna look better to you eventually. If you’re single and isolate yourself, then it’s pretty obvious that being married is gonna look more appealing.
So I just say that b/c I’ve come to realize that happiness (which is what we’re all after, though we all go about it differently, i.e. religiosity, spirituality, sports, career success, money, friends, family, etc.) is two fold. Like I said, on the one hand life is what I make of it and on the other hand, life just is what it is.
I hope that is all vague, non-directive, because life is complicated and there are no really good pat answers. I will simply say that wherever you think you want to get, or whenever you think you are headed, being grateful is a good way to enjoy more being exactly where you are… whether single or in a committed relationship.