Random Update

I worked 18 hours yesterday and 3 hours today.

Over the last three weeks my job satisfaction has quite significantly improved.

Improved until yesterday… when everything that had improved held steady, but something else – out of my control – took a hit.  The fall out, if not corrected, could be catastrophic on multiple fronts.  I’m hoping for quick correction.  We shall see if it happens.  But sadly, in the meantime, my counselors are taking the heat.

I am sometimes doing exercises in agency.  Like expressing my actual thoughts and/or wishes.  It is remarkable feeling.

I read in a book the other day (paraphrased) – “You don’t think your way into a new way of living, you live your way into a new way of thinking.”

I also read, “Integrity and integration are one and the same.  You’re describing a lack of integration between who you think you are and who you aspire to be.”  I’ve never thought it quite like that.

I went to the grocery store today hungry for one particular thing and as it went, I ended up buying that one particular thing and basically everything else in the store even remotely similar to it.

My Christmas tree and lights have been up for almost two weeks.  The Orkin pest control guy thought they were nice.

I am so very thankful that I don’t have to worry about being able to pay my bills each month.  That is such a gift.

I stopped “should-ing” on myself a week or two ago for not diversifying my resources socially, because I realized that I *like* being by myself.  I like keeping old friends, better than I like making new ones.  I generally prefer to stay home, than go out, except with old friends or by myself.  And even though these preferences may mean that I won’t expend myself developing a robust social life, they are my preferences none-the-less and I will still be just fine.

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~ by Eva on November 19, 2010.

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