Think about your hugging.
How do you hug? Are you close or keep space between?
How relaxed are you when you hug?
How long do you hug?
How are these things different with different people you hug?
What do you think your hugging says about how you do the rest of life?
What do you think your hugging says about your relationship with the people you hug?
This concept of using hugging as a litmus test comes from David Schnarch’s Passionate Marriage. I want to add a quote about a concept he calls “hugging till relaxed.”
Start experimenting with hugging till relaxed in private, where you won’t be distracted. But when you get good at it, do it in your living room and kitchen so your kids can see and feel it. Modeling intimacy and interest in physical contact is only one benefit. You can also change the atmosphere in your home. Since families with young kids are an inherently undifferentiated emotional network, being near parents in a soothing, intimate interaction has the impact of calming children.
~David Schnarch, Ph.D