I Take My Fear on Coffee Dates

I’m not one of those people who’s optimistic all the time. I don’t smile when I feel like crying. I cry when I feel like crying. The truth is that life is difficult for all of us at times. If you live it right, you’ll face disappointment, fear, and pain. I’m okay with that. In fact, I expect it.

When something hurts or scares or intimidates me, I don’t ignore it or call it by another name. Instead, I invite it in to sit with me. I buy it a cup of coffee, stare it in the face, and get to know it the way I’d get to know an unpleasant colleague that I’m forced to work with. I put forth an effort to learn about it, even when I think we have nothing in common.

I ask it about its life, its passions, its reason for existence. I get to know it until I’m not afraid anymore. I investigate until I find traces of beauty. And yes, if I sit long enough and ask the right questions, I always find beauty.

When I get up to leave, I embrace it. I hug it and hold both of its hands in mine. I look it in the eyes and thank it for stopping by and for spending the day with me. Then I leave. I don’t ask to stay in touch or plan a follow-up meeting. If we’re meant to meet again, we will. If I need to learn this lesson again, I will.

So if there are moments when I don’t smile, please don’t worry. I’m not disintegrating, I’m just getting to know whatever is sitting with me. I promise you though… Even when the tears are falling, my heart is happy.

And, anyway, the only way you can ever really conquer something is to learn to love it.

(This post is from Jaclyn Rae’s Blog.)

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~ by Eva on October 20, 2011.

One Response to “I Take My Fear on Coffee Dates”

  1. I really like this post… Like, a lot.

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