Chill Out

Just a quick post about my… weight, including a overview of the/my history.

Pre-pubescent weight:  can’t remember; didn’t care about it at the time; didn’t need to

Post-pubescent (age 14-18):  160-165 lbs.

Age 18: 165-170 lbs.

19: 203 lbs.

20: 180-185 lbs.

21: 170-175 lbs.

22: 165-170 lbs.

24: 160-165 lbs.

25: 155-160 lbs.

27: 150-155 lbs.

— I’m 27 years old and currently weigh the least I’ve ever weighed as a full-grown woman

— these were nearly all five pound estimates.  I’ve lost since given up on trying to get myself to maintain an exact weight.  I always give myself window of 5 pounds and as long as I stay within that window, I don’t freak out about the fluctuations.  As long as I maintain my lifestyle, I maintain my general weight.

— most of the time’s I’ve lost weight it was only five pounds

— I didn’t document that the winter when I was 23, right before I turned 24, I gained 5-10 pounds after breaking my foot, which limited my exercise.  Lost that weight once I could run again (though not like it was easy; losing weight never really is in my experience).  I know from that experience that I just need to exercise, both for the mental side and the metabolism/calorie-burning side of weight loss/maintenance.  I just can’t do it on eating healthy, limited amounts alone.  I need exercise too!

It may not be obvious that I’ve spent the vast majority of the last nine years maintaining a weight, including not TRYING to lose any.  At some point over the last nine years, I realized that it’s okay to not be able – mentally (that’s where the rubber meets the road) – to lose weight.  Once in awhile, when the stars align and I feel like I can and want to, then I lose a few pounds.  Most of the time though, I can’t do the mental part of it.  I remind myself that, that is okay.

Having said that… it feels so good to weigh what I weigh now.  So good.  The best yet.

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~ by Eva on May 16, 2012.

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